I’ve had one of those epiphanies this week when you’re stopped in your tracks and you realise where you’re going wrong. But I’m not sure I’m going to be able to make an amends just at the moment even though I know if I can make a change, life will be more fun and carefree. The question is though: can you be carefree and still manage to get everything else done? My fear is that it isn’t possible to still have some sense of housey order and have the fun too, which is perhaps a hang up I have developed from working full time.
The moment of realisation that I am a complete and utter chore bore now I am on maternity leave came when the little lady, who had asked me a number of times to come out and play tea parties with her, finally gave in and spurted at me, while I was sorting out some ironing that needed to be hung up right then from the night before (umm probably not), ‘why are you not having any fun mommy?’. The words full of innocence and truth stopped me in my tracks as though punching me full-on hard in the stomach and taking my breath away. I knelt down and grabbed her hugging her in close and I apologised for not getting out to play. I went out straight away (but the hanging up of ironing was still on my mind) – it did fade away as the fun commenced though).
She hadn’t been waiting all day – I’m not that bad. She had been to dancing class and to the nature reserve to pond dip and eat ice cream with Daddy. She’d had fun while I had been working marking exam papers and doing house chores. But what she had noticed was that I wasn’t available to play when she wanted me to. Now, since I’ve been on maternity leave, I have pretty much been available to do whatever and whenever. I know that not everyone has that luxury. I certainly don’t normally as I am usually at work for the hours that she wants to play. And, I also recognise that children don’t need adult interaction every second of every day but she has a wise head on her shoulders and she was savvy enough to know that I needed to stop the boring stuff at that very moment on a day when the sun was shining brightly. Or, maybe she doesn’t have any idea and her innocence about how the house runs and her enquiring mind’s questions were just enough on that day to remind me that I don’t have to do the boring things at the moments I choose to do them. Instead, I could let the ironing pile up and just get out and enjoy the amazing opportunity that I have at this very moment to spend my maternity leave with my little lady who will all too soon be at nursery, my beautiful new baby girl and my husband. Having said all this, the ironing basket did fall out of the airing cupboard this morning and whack me on the head – a sure sign that someone needs to get at least some of the ironing done. After a whelp on my part, the little lady ran upstairs and said ‘O mommy, the ironing is on the floor. Be careful and don’t do it again!’. Here’s to the irony and the innocence. I laughed and piled it back to where it had been to get ready for an afternoon at the park!
Mrs View From A Daddy.